I was ramping up in stress level in Boston. Running away from some personal feelings.Swiping left and right and overstimulating myself. Too many dates, too much interaction with strangers that felt pressured and adrenalizing, but very depleting.

I booked a trip to Florida for sun, the ocean, and to see my Uncles Ray and Carlos. They are a real model of a healthy, happy, prosperous, adventurous, loving, and caring couple. They have great friends, they travel endlessly, they eat very clean and balanced. They have helped me tremendously through my life. When I was younger, I watched them travel, start and own businesses, give generous holiday gifts. One of the few people I looked at and thought…”that’s a life I’d like to live.

They are just all around good men and they take care of their families and loved ones. They take care of me in many life changing ways. I owe them deep gratitude and loyalty.

Anyways, I am going to Florida because it was cold in Boston. I would walk late at night when it’s dark and the cold and the wind felt like being yelled at, makes you scrunch all up. I needed warmth on my heart, I wanted to stand naked on the beach with the sun on my chest. I did not do that, but it would be cooler if I did. I did it with a bathing suit on. 

I overslept. It is 4am. I have a 5:30 flight. Ready in 10 minutes, Uber. Arrive to airport 4:45am, 10 minutes through security. I was breezing. I flew Spirit and got a first class seat for $40 upgrade.. That means a bigger seat, a bottle of wine, and snacks. No TV.

I listened to Ram Dass on Spotify. Ram Dass, if you have not listened to him, is your road to a happier life. From Brookline, Jewish, professor at Harvard, doctor of psychiatry. Found LSD, found spirit, and went to India. Changed the world. Changes mine nearly every day.

Deepak Chopra too, and I do not feel I have to apologize for that view. He translated ancient Indian philosophy and yoga technology to help millions reach a higher state of awareness and self love. “Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind.” Deepak Chopra. In his own words any wrong doing shall certainly make its way back to his door. 

Take off in the dark and watch the sunrise in the air. It is beautiful and I took pictures.. My photos are my diary, my life as a story. 

Day 1

I got in at 9:30. We drove to the condo. Seventeenth floor, top floor corner unit, two bedrooms with a balcony view of the beach and canal. Manicured grounds, full time doorman and security, and a beautiful gardenia bush in the front yard.

I unpacked. I am in a phase where I unpack everything immediately and put the suitcase away. Hangers, a drawer, and I am unpacked. It is autistic, I mean ritualistic. The root word of autistic is mystic because they were weird or different. Mystical, having some connection to spirits. This is not actually true, I just made that up.

I arrived to rainbows, literally. It is in the photos. First night we went to Le Sound Temple. I met Simon a year ago. He did a private sound bath for me and my daughters and someone I loved very much.

Simon runs Le Sound Temple inside a church in Fort Lauderdale. I booked us three spots for the night. It was gongs, northern lights, crystal bowls, lots of incense, very ceremonial and positive for me. They also gave us Egyptian blue lotus tea, said to help relax you, and one pill of mescaline. San Pedro cactus, Wachuma. The Grandfather.

Needless to say, I took one and received a message.

The woman that you are holding in your heart because you love her, but you must recognize you loved how she made you feel. Your love is your love of self. She reflected divine energy and now I long to feel that sensation. But the voice said to let go of that attachment, to acknowledge my feelings and dissatisfaction with the relationship and recognize that anything I felt was within me…that is what I’m seeking. 

I spoke to SIimon after the session, I explained we have a community very similar to what he does in Boston so we agreed to meet for coffee the next day.

After sound healing we stopped at Sicilian Oven. I got a plate of sautéed broccoli rabe with vinegar, cherry peppers, garlic, and garlic knots with cheese and oil. Yikes. Carlos got a tower of fried eggplant, tomato, and buffalo mozzarella. Uncle Ray got pasta fagioli. It is a white bean and pasta soup. It is peasant food, which means it is nutritious, simple, and clean. I always ate it growing up in an Italian home.

Sleep. Heavy dreams. I forget them.

I got up early and went to the community center. HIIT cardio with people aged 66 to 88. There was a Swiss woman next to me. Everyone was very nice and welcoming. The 80 year old Swiss woman said I was in excellent shape. 

It was a great workout.

On the way back it rained and I picked gardenias from the back of the tree. One of the staff found me a bright green solo cup and they stayed on the counter for the duration of the trip, fragrantly perfuming the air and mood.

Uncle Ray and I went to Soak and Senses, a sauna, cold plunge, breathwork, meditation space. The girl at the desk is from Cape Cod, came down 1.5 years ago. She had us swing our arms and do a few breaths to help get into the cold plunge.

It was a four person sauna. Uncle Ray and I sat with two lovely women who teach yoga. I have to say one of them was an Asian woman and she was extraordinarily sweet and attractive.

I did a cold plunge for three minutes. Back in sauna. Another cold plunge. Done.

We hit the beach, swam in the waves. Big waves, lots of seaweed. Warm sun. Wind. Nature, God, love.

Lunch. Uncle Ray makes cheese quesadillas with salsa verde, very good.

Tennis for 1.5 hours. Still day one. Uncle Ray is a machine. Hot, drenched in sweat, he beat me three games in a row. He is 77. Faulkners are a different breed. He credits tennis with giving him a great social network and health and vitality.

Another dip in the ocean. Waves died down, seaweed remained.

Uncle Ray was proud that he insisted on playing tennis even though Carlos objected it may rain. He won on all fronts.

I took a sexy selfie in the sauna.

Dinner with Jason and Doug. Doug plays tennis with the uncles. Jason works for Harvard and is a dog mom or dad. They live in a private complex that feels like Melrose Place, but with gardenia bushes and orchids on the palm trees. It felt like a lush jungle garden. Loved it.

We sat and had a drink. Doug and Jason drink in a way that is very inviting and comfortable and they read the room if you are not keeping up.

We went to Indian food. Beautiful restaurant. We met a former Celtics player, he will remain nameless, on a date with a beautiful woman around 30. He held the door and carried an umbrella to pick her up. It was charming.

We drank red wine and had an Indian feast. Rogan josh, naan, samosa, biryani, chicken tikka, potato and cauliflower, rich curries and fragrant wine. It was a luscious dinner.

I got us a car back in the rain. We sat out on the lanai and played Rummikub surrounded by the plants and night rain. It was lovely.

Day 2

9am meditation, Bombay Room. With Michelle. “I am going to be your Joe Dispenza today.”

She delivered. Totally new approach for me, with three or four position changes and a move that blows your head off.

One of the exercises we inhaled deeply, arching our back, locking root lock and neck, putting the head back, holding the breath for seven seconds and exhaling. It was a rush of blood to the head and definitely got me seeing stars and colors. I was careful, I could pass out.

I asked her about it after and she said it is common for her to pass out with this breath, and at the retreats they would do it standing up on the beach and people would fall over into the sand.

Anyone have experience with this from Joe Dispenza?

After, I walked to the beach and chanted Om Gum Ganapataye Namaha 108 times.

Oatmeal with berries and yogurt for breakfast. Perfect. Dark black coffee.

Two hour walk with Carlos to the park with a big banyan tree. I took pictures.

Dinner with Danny and Craig. Another amazing gay couple. Danny keeps the most beautiful flowers, orchids, and trees in their front yard. Mango, lychee, and others.

Craig is from Maine. He and Uncle Ray talked about taxes when we arrived. Not my favorite subject.

I see a giant rifle leaning against the wall. Beautiful home, by the way, on a lake, full lanai, open concept, spotlessly clean, and a giant rifle.

We walked out near the water and I asked Craig to take pictures shooting a coconut. He described shooting an iguana and snapping its spine and watching it sink into the lake. He described it with joy. How do Buddhists manage the iguana population?

Cool photo. Florida gay gun glam.

Dinner at Anthony’s, an old school Italian clam house with red sauce, chicken piccata, amazing baked clams, and like 14 dollar eggplant parm. Fabulous. We had a nice wine. We had a great night with Danny and Craig. I hope to see them in Cambridge and Maine.

Uncle Ray is getting sick. His nose is running. We do not know the cause. The cold floor at Le Sound Temple, the ocean dip, the cold plunge, the AC after sweaty tennis, the children on the cruise last week.

Day 3

Morning yoga. It is raining. I got there two minutes before class and had to knock on the door.

Only a few people. Yoga was good and challenging on my knees. I went to the gym in the building after.

I met Simon for coffee. We discussed our businesses. They are such a parallel. We are clearly working in the same spirit.

“I would like to invite you to Jamaica to take mushrooms on retreat with the Rastafarians.”

I said yes.

“Tomorrow I will bring you San Pedro and you can feel it at the beach.”

At night we played cribbage and talked to Maria, Carlos’ mom.

On the long walk with Carlos it was so refreshing to talk with him because he is so open and honest and non judgmental or reactionary. I have learned so much from him over the years. He is very encouraging for me in my relationships and dating life.

Goodnight.

Day 4

I got up and went to the gym. Carlos went to tennis. Uncle Ray is sick. It rained in the morning.

I met Simon at the gas station across from Walgreens. We went to the beach. Sat in the sand on towels, no shirts, full sun. Swam in the ocean and talked.

He is encouraging me that people that are coming may want some help and guidance and it is ok to offer that. In reality, if you are holding this space you should talk more with people that come and ask if they are having a tough time with anything. You have knowledge of physical technology and practices that may help them live a happier, healthier life.

I agreed.

It is too windy for the San Pedro.

Simon describes that ayahuasca is the mother, the feminine, dark, with spirits. San Pedro is the grandfather, nature, the mountains, the light.

“I want to be in the light.” he said

I return to the condo. Short nap. I lose 2 to 1 in cribbage to Carlos. We go to dinner.

We go to dinner at a ghetto restaurant. Very loud. Young women dressed in booty shorts and very low cut tops with long hair. They drank and smoked weed in the parking lot.

There were dogs there barking. 

They had drinks with THC and booze together.

I had a chopped salad. It was excellent. Food was good. Chocolate bread pudding with ice cream.

Spirit upgrade to first seat on plane for $40. Delayed an hour. I listened to Jonah Hill on Rick Rubin’s Tetragrammatron podcast.

One glass of wine and cheese. 

Home in Cambridge 1am.

Sleep.

Stay tuned for my next adventure. Mushrooms on the beac in Jamaica with the Rastafarians.